


Stars Around My Scars

by thepeakycauldron



Series: Once in Twenty Lifetimes [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25613689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepeakycauldron/pseuds/thepeakycauldron
Summary: Remus is oblivious. Sirius is flirtatious. The gang hates Snape. Trouble ensues.For the most part canon compliant-- How I envisioned Snape finding out about Remus being a werewolf. Takes place roughly around sixth or seventh year.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Once in Twenty Lifetimes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1856614
Comments: 3
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Cardigan by Miss Taylor Swift. I am (unfortunately) not British, so I apologize for any malapropisms or inaccuracies in slang LOL. Peter Pettigrew is only in here for like two seconds (I hate him too, but alas he was their friend). Loads of appreciation for my lovely editors-- Dane and Montana. Enjoy!

Sirius Black was irresistible. All the girls in Hogwarts could tell you that. That morning, he was particularly jovial as he entered the Great Hall. He’d swiped Snape’s potions kit and given it to Peeves the night before. 

Sirius looked good, Remus thought, as he sauntered into the room. Saunter wasn’t exactly the right word though, but neither was flounce, or strut. He was just confident, perhaps excessively. Sirius made his way through the House Tables, laden with toast and eggs and pumpkin juice. James was with him too, and Sirius slung an arm around him, surveying the room. James made some sort of witty comment, which caused Sirius to toss his head back with laughter and reveal a broad smile. 

The two made their way to where Remus was sitting, at the end of the Gryffindor table, closest to the Professors' table. Remus was often up before the other members of his house-- before the rest of the school, really. Most students were hesitant to sit near his end of the table, fearful of catching the critical eye or ear of a professor. Remus took the opportunity to preserve the quiet morning and squeeze in a little studying. 

Remus’ focus was interrupted by the way that the starched collar of Sirius’ robes opened generously to reveal a pale throat and fine collarbones. His tie was haphazardly tied; it made Remus want to straighten it. 

“Oi, Lupin,” James called, “Settle a bet for us.” Remus shoved his notes to the side, knowing his studying would be over for the morning. 

“Yes? Can you two pass Transfig without studying? Seems unlikely.” 

Sirius rolled his eyes at this. He, perhaps rightly, considered his recent achievement of becoming an animagus sufficient preparation for whatever McGonagall would throw at them. 

“Oh, sod off! We’re fine. Okay, so, who’s better at hex—” James cut off when he realized Professor Sprout was looking at them with brows raised. 

Sirius picked up where James left off, leaning in and lowering his voice, “Hexing greasy bastards? Say, dearest Snivellus, for example,” he tilted his head and grinned.

Before Remus could think up a quick retort, his cheeks burned. The usual comfortable rumble of the hall had seemingly died down. He felt Sirius’ light, bright eyes on his, something simmering under his steady gaze. 

“Uh, I think it’s Peter, actually.”   
James threw his hands up in the air, exasperated.

“Come on, Moony!” 

“Yeah, and get drawn into this biggest ego battle of the century? No thanks.” 

Sirius reached an arm across the table and plucked one of Remus’ parchments from a stack and began to examine it, “Shame you’ve lost your courage, Moony.” 

Remus looked darkly at Sirius, who in turn raised his eyebrows, daring him to counter with something. Their staring contest was interrupted by James letting out a heavy breath and then promptly knocking over a goblet of pumpkin juice onto his shirt. 

Lily Evans was storming over to their end of the table, long, red hair swishing behind her. Two bright blotches of pink rose on her cheeks. Meanwhile, the boys were scrambling with wands out trying to magic the pumpkin juice off James’ shirt. 

Lily stopped in front of the boys, slightly out of breath. James smiled brightly, running a hand through his perpetually messy hair.

“Lily, you look radiant this--” he started. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” she demanded.

Remus flinched and started sorting his homework so he could look away. James shifted uncomfortably, regretting that his earlier hijinks with Sirius had further tarnished Lily’s opinion of him. Sirius leveled his even gaze on her. 

“And what could you possibly be referring to, Evans?”

She pressed on, “What did you do with Severus’ potions kit?”

“I haven’t the slightest clue what you are referring to,” Sirius said. 

“Like hell you don’t. You know, you boys may think you’re all that, but on the inside you’re… you’re soulless. Fucking dementors the lot of you.” 

Sirius laughed a cold laugh. Remus knew this wasn’t a good sign. Most of the time, it was easy to forget Sirius was still a product of his upbringing. Sirius always spoke about his family with a scowl. The Black Family: one of the last great, ancient, noble, whatever wizarding families. Sirius didn’t talk about summers at home, or childhood memories. Time spent in the upper echelons of wizarding society produced an odd combination: a great desire to rebel against every tradition and belief his family had, but also some drilled in manners and propriety. For Sirius, this meant instances of deceit and rage (which were often), were disguised by a forced civility. 

“If we were responsible,” he began, “for Snape’s missing potions kit, he would simply deserve it. Surely, you must see him hanging on the sleeve of Malfoy and Bellatrix and Narcissa. Spouting shit about blood superiority? When will you stop defending him?” 

Lily took a step back, weighing her response, fuming, “You don’t know him. He doesn’t mean it.” 

Remus shrugged apologetically to her. She turned on her heel and marched out of the room. 

James softly muttered, ”Fuck. I cannot have a normal interaction with her.” 

“She’s blind, mate. There’s other fish and all that,” Sirius said, looking agitated. 

Remus let out a quick breath and realized the Great Hall was nearly empty. They were going to be late to class if they didn’t head out. 

“C’mon boys, we all need to go,” said Remus.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and Remus have a chat in Divination.

Ironically, Remus’ first class that day was Divination with Lily Evans. The bronze door to the classroom was charmed to lock out any tardy student. Remus always wished he had more time to admire it, with its finely carved model of the solar system, clinking teacups, and omens. He snuck into class at the last minute, heading to the seat he normally occupied, at a small table with Lily. 

She was bent over a book. Deep in thought or purposefully ignoring him, he couldn’t tell. He cleared his throat and she looked up. 

“May I sit here?” he asked. 

He held his breath, because he knew she might say no, and would mean it. She had before, once or twice, when Sirius and James and Peter’s antics had been particularly offensive. She was very stubborn like James. Lily chewed her bottom lip, considering his request. 

“Fine,” she said. 

Remus relaxed and sat down, expecting a reprise of her morning’s comments. He was correct. While Professor Nightswift was busy extolling the benefits of a daily tea leaf read, Lily muttered to him angrily, “I don’t understand you.”

Professor Nightswift directed the students to get their own tea sorted and write down predictions for their tablemates from leave readings. Remus used these moments to think. 

“What’s there not to understand?” 

Lily drained her tea in one gulp.

“How can you be friends with them?” She punctuated the last word with a scowl and a shake of her head. Remus must’ve made a face, because she pressed on, “I don’t mean to be rude. It’s just, you’re clever and kind,” Remus understood she meant unlike them. “I just don’t get it,” she finished. 

Remus pressed his lips together, swishing his tea leaves in his cup. 

“They’re loyal, and brave— you know what? I don’t need to explain myself to you. Let’s just finish the assignment,” he said. 

For the rest of the period they worked in silence, except to briefly tell the other’s fortune. In Lily’s cup, Remus saw a bird: a fortunate journey. In Remus’ cup, Lily saw a shape vaguely like a heart: a fickle lover. Remus snorted at that. 

Once they’d packed up and headed out the door, Lily lightly placed a hand on his arm. Remus jolted at the touch, letting out an abrupt, “What!”

“Look, I shouldn’t have questioned your friendship, I’m sorry.” 

Remus smiled softly, “It’s okay. They can be right dicks. I get it.” 

Lily brightened up after that, and darted off to her next class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Prof Nightswift is named after Taylor Swift. Yes, I am embarrassed. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Again, any feedback is so appreciated.


	3. Chapter Three

Long after dinner, the Gryffindor common room was still abuzz with a mix of anxious studiers and trouble makers. Remus was a part of the first group, sitting at a far table under a window. The window had a thick wrought iron frame, with warped glass that emitted a golden glow, despite the rainy darkness outside. Probably charmed, Remus mused, glancing at it. 

Across from him was Alice Turner, a Gryffindor witch in his year. She was pretty, with big eyes and short, brown hair. The two were studying for History of Magic, quizzing each other on ancient Mesopotamian wizards and spells. On the other side of the common room, James and Peter were playing a game of Wizard Chess. In the middle of the room, Sirius had flung himself onto the couch in front of the fire. He was reading a small book, gasping, snorting, or shaking his head at the book every so often. A crueler part of Remus wondered if he enjoyed the attention his engaged reading provoked. 

“Uh, Remus? The White Temple and Ziggurat? Remus?” Alice prodded. 

“Oh, sorry Al. I’m distracted, sorry,” said Remus. 

“Not at all! No worries…” Alice trailed off, smiling, looking down at her notes, “I think we’ve covered just about everything anyway.” 

They both moved to pack up their things. Just as Alice was about to leave, she hesitated,

“Um… Remus?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you like to come with me to Hogsmeade this weekend? Like the two of us? Alone? Um, together?” She said it so quickly that it was difficult for Remus to parse the words. 

“Uh, yeah, I’d love to,” he said finally. 

Alice clutched her books to her chest tightly and grinned,

“Great! Meet you here at ten on Saturday.” She practically ran up the steps to the girls’ rooms, probably to gush to her friends. 

Seconds after Alice left, Sirius plopped down in the chair she had been sitting in, opposite Remus. 

“So, Moony has a date this weekend.” 

“I don’t know about ‘date’, Sirius. We’re just friends, that’s all.” 

“Sounded like a date to me,” shot back Sirius. 

“What? Were you listening to us?” asked Remus, scandalized. 

“I mean. It’s a common area. I can’t pick and choose what to hear. Why don’t you try talking more quietly next time? I’m sure Dumbledore could hear you both!” Sirius said, his voice getting louder with every word. He stood up suddenly, incensed. Remus hated how tall he was. _Really only a few inches taller than me_ , Remus thought, _but infinitely annoying_. 

By then, all eyes in the common room had turned toward them. It wasn’t unusual for the two of them to get into mild spats (“battles of wit” as Sirius would call them), but this time there was nothing for them to debate. Sirius had accosted him over what? Being too loud? 

James and Peter had come over to where Sirius and Remus were sitting. Remus hardly noticed until Peter murmured, 

“Guys, uhm, why don’t we go down to the kitchens?”

“Yeah!” James said, a bit too enthusiastically, “I’m so hungry I could eat a hippogriff.” 

Sirius glanced at them, acknowledging their attempt to diffuse the situation. At that, Remus slammed his History of Magic book shut. Sirius really shouldn’t be so rude and then be allowed to just be done with it, he thought. 

“You guys just go on without me. I’ve got work to do.” The other three exchanged a look, not wanting to provoke further tensions. All the other witches and wizards in the common room had mostly turned away. 

Remus hastily packed his books and parchments and headed out of the common room to his dorm. He threw his bag on the floor and laid down on his bed, fuming. 

Maybe Lily had a point, Remus thought. Sirius could be a giant git, stuffing his nose into other peoples’ business, and then getting angry when he was called out for his behavior. And what were James and Peter doing about it? Nothing. They were all probably having a grand time nicking food from the kitchens, like nothing had happened. 

Remus continued ruminating until the boys came back from their excursion. It was difficult to truly avoid them; after all, they were roommates. He shut his eyes quickly and pretended to be asleep, so as not to endure a conversation with them. 

Someone shuffled over to his bed, which was pressed up to the wall furthest from the door. They set something down on his nightstand. The person in question stopped for a moment. _What are you waiting for?_ Thought Remus. They turned and walked away. Once Remus was sure that the person had their back to him, he flitted his eyes open. 

The long, mussed black hair immediately identified him as Sirius, but Remus would know him without it. He would know him from his tapered waist and shoulders that stretched his shirt ever so slightly. Where James was broader and more muscular due to long hours on the quidditch pitch, Sirius was lithe and slender. 

On his nightstand sat a slice of treacle tart. Remus had made an offhand comment at dinner that night about how amazing it was. So maybe Sirius wasn’t so obtuse, he considered. But before Remus could meditate more on that thought, he drifted off into a dreamless sleep. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I apologize for not being British. Treacle tart is mentioned in the books... and the only other British dessert I could really think of was Victoria Sponge. Any suggestions? 
> 
> BOYS! Am I right? 
> 
> Thanks for reading. Any feedback is appreciated!! <3
> 
> Also, Alice Longbottom does not have a last name, so I kindly gave her one. Turner is a less-than-subtle tribute to the inimitable Alex Turner. 10 points to whoever caught it ;)


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama in the chat!

Remus overslept the next morning. In his angst, he had forgotten to perform a waking charm the night before. He thought briefly about writing a letter to his mum and asking for a muggle alarm clock. Though, according to  _ Hogwarts, A History _ , muggle technology didn’t work on the grounds or in the castle. But surely the alarm clock was rudimentary enough that it might, he thought. 

He changed into a fresh set of robes and was suddenly grateful that Sirius brought him the piece of tart the night before. Remus didn’t have the time to run to the Great Hall, so the cake became his breakfast. 

Remus bounded out of his dorm and through the Fat Lady’s portrait. Remus didn’t have the Map today; he was pretty sure James had it. But he didn’t need it; he knew the secret passage to Transfig by heart. He walked down the hall to a large, marble column, and was about to utter the charm to open it ( _ Ionica Grecia _ ), when he saw none other than Severus Snape coming down the hallway. 

Snape looked near death, as usual. The large, purple shadows under his eyes only emphasized his beaked nose. Remus didn’t think of himself as any prize, especially after sleepless nights in the library, with similar shadows dusting his eyes. However, he never looked gaunt the way Snape always did. 

Snape glared at him, as if hearing Remus’ thoughts about his appearance. Remus didn’t want a fight this early in the morning, but Snape was standing in front of the column that would get him to class on time. 

“You and your friends think you’re clever, eh?” Snape asked him, practically growling the words. 

“Look, Severus,” Remus began. He cleared his throat and pressed his lips together. Unlike James and Sirius, he could not simply hex Snape or taunt him and move on. Remus tried to act as measured and respectfully as possible, desiring to live up to his Prefect status. 

“YOU look, Lupin. You need to learn how to control your little friends,” Snape hissed. Remus noticed how Snape’s shoulders hugged his ears when he was angry. Dressed in black robes, with his beaky nose and hunched shoulders, Snape looked like an overgrown bat. James had made this comparison many times prior, but Remus never really understood it until now.

Remus looked down at his shoes and noticed the laces on the left were untied. He couldn’t feign ignorance, he knew about Sirius’ prank. Remus knew the plan, he left so he didn’t have to see it done, but he heard Sirius boasting in the common room after it was done. But he hadn’t said a word, not even a halfhearted warning.  _ Why didn’t I? _ He wondered. 

“Excuse me, Severus. I need to get to class,” Remus said. He took a few steps, trying to get around Snape. He accepted that he couldn’t take the secret passage with Snape there, so he was ready to sprint across the castle. 

Instead of moving aside with a huff, as Remus had expected, Snape abruptly shoved him back. 

Remus stumbled a few paces backwards, startled. His refusal to engage with Snape clearly only infuriated him more. Snape moved in closer towards him, and pushed him again. 

“Hey!” Remus snapped. 

“You knew about the potions kit, didn’t you? And you knew about the exploding quills? And the spiked chocolates? And all the other infinite, daily irritants? Right? You knew,” Snape yelled, enraged. Remus did, in fact, know. A chill blossomed in his chest because he remembered the details of every single prank Severus mentioned. He could recall the way James and Sirius looked, heads bent together, laughing and scheming. 

“Whatever you say, Snape,” Remus said hastily, his gaze flicking about the room. Remus was a terrible liar, though. Snape scanned his stricken face and grabbed him by his robes. 

“One day you and your idiotic friends will regret all of this.”

Remus looked around uncomfortably and clenched his jaw. 

“Sure, Snape,” he said tiredly. 

Snape clutched Remus’ robes even tighter and narrowed his eyes. 

“I know what you are, werewolf,” he whispered. 

Remus blinked. He wondered how Snape could know. Surely none of his friends had said anything? Remus was saved from having to think up a response. 

“Oi, Snivellus!” shouted James, “What’s the problem?”

“Nothing,” Snape said coolly. He released Remus’ robes and took a step back, “I was merely reminding him that you all should stop messing with me. It won’t end well for you. Did you know Professor Slughorn gifted me with a new potions kit? He was very sympathetic. Hates Peeves.”

Snape smiled smugly, very pleased with himself. 

“Yeah, we’re very jealous of your membership in the Slug Club. You’re really going places, Snivellus,” Sirius sneered. 

Sirius threw a heavy arm on Remus’ shoulders. He smelled good, warm and a little spicy. Remus inhaled sharply. Now that Remus was with his friends, Snape wasn’t so brave. He scurried off in the direction he came. 

“Fucking twat,” James said. 

“Yeah, what was that about?” asked Sirius. 

The arrival of his friends had made Remus momentarily forget Snape’s threat. When he remembered, he froze. He dropped his voice to barely a whisper, looking around for any passerby. 

“He knows.”

“Knows what?” asked James. 

“He knows about me being a werewolf,” Remus could barely get the last word out. 

Sirius tensed and Remus could see the wheels turning in his head. His brow furrowed and he sucked on the inside of his cheeks, which only sharpened his angular face. 

He spoke slowly and carefully, “I’ll kill him. I’ll do it. I swear to God.” 

Even James looked shocked at this declaration. 

“Sirius, you’ll be expelled and sent to Azkaban,” he said quietly, and then turned to Remus, “Moony, are you okay?”

Okay is a funny word, Remus thought. Physically, fine. Mentally? He had Transfig in less than a minute and Snape was threatening to reveal his biggest secret. 

“Yeah, fine. Don’t worry about me. We can talk later at dinner and figure something out.” 

Remus ambled away and opened the column with the charm, leaving James to talk Sirius down. Sirius would be alright, he had Defense Against the Dark Arts next, which was his favorite class. Remus took one last look at Sirius, who was still livid. Any lingering anger within Remus from last night melted away, but worry took its place. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Any feedback is much appreciated. Xo


	5. Chapter Five

Dinner was a quick affair, as none of the boys were particularly hungry or conversational. They rushed off to the library, and found their usual table by the restricted section. Someone either told Peter about Remus’ predicament, or he just had the tact to imitate the mood of the other boys. 

Realizing that nobody was going to say anything, Sirius started, “I hate that bastard.” 

It was enough for all the boys to let out a short laugh.

“We really ought to be more careful… or, er, watchful about what we do,” said Peter, “I mean, he could be anywhere.”

James ran his fingers through his hair thoughtfully. In spite of everything, Remus felt very glad that he had these particular friends. His antagonistic, clever, and loyal friends. He almost smiled. 

“Look, we have two problems: how did Snape find out and how can we stop him from sharing this?” James said. 

Remus considered this. He doubted any one of them revealed any information, intentionally or accidentally. 

“Well, I don’t think he’s listening in on our conversations. If he was, he would’ve known about the potions kit being stolen. He also would have a lot more potentially incriminating material about different stuff,” Remus said.

“But what if he’s just playing his cards close to the vest?” asked Peter.

James spoke up, “No. He’d use any excuse he had to get back at us or run to Slughorn.” 

Remus felt Sirius staring at his mouth and wondered if he had any crumbs dusting the corners from dinner. He rubbed his mouth on his sleeve, trying very hard to read the names of the books on the shelf opposite him. Sirius blinked and focused on the conversation again. 

“He probably saw us, or guessed. I mean it’s not difficult… you’re gone every month. Next time we have to deal with it, let’s change up our routine and check the Map to make sure we aren’t being followed. He can’t hide from us there,” said Sirius. 

The rest of the boys nodded in agreement. 

“Okay. Now how do we stop him from running his mouth?” James asked. 

Remus said “Truce” at the same time Sirius said “Unforgivable Curses”. 

Sirius was in rare form, as he nodded at Remus to go first. Remus was a bit startled by his grace, and spoke with a shaky start, “He’s a bloody wanker, I don’t disagree. But antagonizing him will only force his hand. He  _ wants  _ a fight. He’s looking for any excuse to hurt us.” 

Remus looked anxiously at James and Sirius. 

“We should talk to him. Swear to him you’ll stop harassing him if he promises not to tell.” 

James and Sirius looked at each other. Remus could see a conversation carried by a series of meaningful looks between them. As close as Remus felt to both boys, they were like wands that shared the same core: a certain type of magic bound them, irreversibly. Where one went, the other followed. 

“I think it could work,” said James apprehensively. 

“No,” Sirius said. 

Remus raised a brow. Was it really necessary for Sirius to be so contradictory? Remus thought. 

“He’s a Slytherin. I know how he thinks. He’s got all the cards and we don’t. He doesn’t owe us anything. He,” Sirius broke off, clenching his fist and then flexing it, “Even if we tell him we’ll stop, there’s no guarantee he won’t say anything. I can’t take that risk, sorry. If we go to him, we appear weak. We show we’re willing to negotiate, and I’m not.” 

“You just want to keep bothering him!” exclaimed Remus. He knew it wasn’t true, but he hated that Sirius could be so obstinate, especially now. What else was there to do but beg? Sirius was too proud to understand. 

“Sirius, I am a werewolf. What happens when I get tossed out of Hogwarts because the parents don’t want me here? What do you suggest we do?” Remus struggled to keep his voice below a whisper, wary of listeners. 

“I… I don’t know.” Sirius slumped down in his chair, seemingly exhausted by the conversation. Nobody had any other ideas to offer up. After a few minutes of silence, Peter piped up, 

“So… it’s settled? We go to Snape?”

The other three nodded in assent. 

“We can talk to him after Potions. It’s the only class we all have together,” James said. 

“Uhm. I’ve gotta get up early for Herbology. I’m off to bed,” Peter said. 

Sirius and James would’ve been content to let him go alone, and discuss the plan further, but Remus wasn’t keen on letting Peter wander alone, especially when he knew Snape could surprise him and press him for more information. 

“C’mon guys, let’s all go to bed,” said Remus encouragingly. He almost convinced himself that things would be alright. All the boys grabbed their bags and started the long walk to the Gryffindor common room. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> teamwork! thanks for reading <3


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the longest chapter I've written yet!

Remus, contrary to his own advice, did not catch a moment of sleep that night. He was too hot, so he yanked his covers off, and then he got too cold, so he had to pull them off up the floor. Aside from body temperature regulation, he couldn’t get his mind to go quiet for long enough to dip into slumber. Remus played out every possible way the conversation could go tomorrow, always ending in some variant of expulsion or nasty hexes. 

The morning was no better; he was irritable from the moment he got out of bed. At breakfast he couldn’t bring himself to eat, so when James pushed a piece of toast at him, Remus chucked it at him, knocking off James’ glasses. Sirius high-fived him for that, snorting milk out of his nose. 

Remus lingered at the breakfast table for longer than usual and Sirius stayed behind to keep him company. In fact, that morning, it was Sirius who told him he was going to be late for Divination if Remus didn’t leave soon. When Remus stood up to leave, Sirius gripped his upper arm tightly, forcing Remus to stop. 

Remus noticed they were less than a foot away. This close, he could see a pale violet dusting under Sirius’ eyes. It looked like Sirius hadn’t slept much either that night. Remus’ gaze dropped down to the curve of Sirius’ lips, they still looked characteristically red and full. 

“Earth to Moony? Rem? Did you hear me?” Sirius asked. 

Remus jolted out of his stupor.  _ I am so going crazy _ , he thought. Sirius’ hand was still wrapped around his arm. 

“Uh, sorry, I’m a bit out of it this morning, if you haven’t noticed,” said Remus. He tried a smile but even he could tell it was watery.

“I said, ‘Don’t worry about today, Remus’, you’ll be fine.” Unlike Remus, Sirius sounded confident and reassuring. That was Sirius, after all. Brave to the point of being brazen. Confident to the point of being foolhardy. But Remus needed it; he needed Sirius to be that for him, at least that day. 

“Thanks, Sirius,” he said. Remus straightened his shoulders a bit and Sirius dropped his hand from Remus’ arm. Remus missed the weight of it. Remus nodded his head in the direction of the doors to the Great Hall. The two headed to class, both a little bit more ready for the day. 

Remus sat through his morning classes in a daze. He skipped lunch, as it would only make him sick, and he also didn’t want to face his friends. Breakfast had been bad enough, with James and Peter casting pitying looks his way every so often. Afternoon classes were similarly blurred. 

His mind raced, rehashing all the possible outcomes from the night before ten times over. Sometimes he would think about Sirius, and how nice his hand felt on his arm. Or he would think about the way he sounded so confident that morning.  _ Sirius Black is going to be the death of me _ , Remus thought,  _ he’s distracting, and all he’s doing is giving me false hope _ .

Potions could not come soon enough, and he trudged through the dungeons slowly, hoping he could be the last person to enter class. He didn’t want to see Snape, or risk him making a comment in front of everybody. The black hallway was curiously covered in a slimy green substance. When Remus finally sat down in Slughorn’s classroom with his friends he let out a quick sigh of relief. Snape didn’t seem to notice him coming in, and had his greasy head bent over a notebook. 

Remus looked around the room with fresh eyes, as if he’d slipped on a pair of glasses. Slughorn had attempted to make the dank Potions classroom his own. He’d certainly used a couple of cleaning charms, he added playful pillows and fabrics to the room, and he put gifts from former students on display. Early on in the year, James and Sirius realized they could get Slughorn to talk for the full period instead of teaching them new potions if they asked about his favorite former students. 

Peter tapped Remus and handed him a small slip of parchment. Remus opened it and could tell by the penmanship who it was from. 

_ Are you okay?  _

Remus risked being told off by Slughorn, and turned to Sirius, who was sitting behind him. He mouthed a quick “fine” and faced the front again. Potions passed quickly. James got Slughorn to talk at length about the current seeker on the Holyhead Harpies, who was of course, a former student. 

“You know, she had quite the talent for draughts… much like our own Miss Evans!” Spoke Slughorn, cheerily. A Slytherin in the back of the room reminded him that class was over. 

“Oh-ho! You are correct. Yes, be free. Go! Be great!” Slughorn shouted. 

Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter practically ran out of the classroom. They hovered outside the door, waiting for a certain beak-nosed Slytherin to come out. Remus heard Lily ask if she could stay behind a few minutes to ask some questions about a potion she had read about. When Sirius spotted Snape in the throng of students, he walked over to him and said something quietly. He motioned with his head to where the rest of the boys stood. 

Snape stuck his nose in the air and marched over to where the boys were. 

“What?” he said flatly. 

James pushed his way over to Snape and spoke, “Severus.” 

“Oh, so you do know my name? No Snivellus? Cat got your tongue?” 

James blanched, not expecting Snape to go on the offensive so soon. Remus interjected quickly, before they lost their chance to speak to him, “We’ve come to offer a truce.” Snape raised an unkempt eyebrow and crossed his arms expectantly. 

“We’ll lay off you, if you agree not to talk about Remus’ condition to anyone else,” James said. 

Snape considered this. His eyes flicked over all of them, landing on Sirius. Snape smiled slightly, noticing Sirius’ clenched jaw and slow breathing. 

“Black-- you agreed to this?” Snape taunted. Remus and Peter looked at Sirius nervously. As much as he cared about Remus, he could barely tolerate Snape on a good day. Sirius cleared his throat and inhaled deeply. 

“Yes.” he said simply. 

Snape waited a moment, expecting more of a fight from Sirius. When he didn’t get one, he looked them over one last time. 

“Fine. But. I want apologies from James and Sirius for all the... harm they’ve caused me” Snape grinned cruelly, watching the two boys squirm.  _ Merlin _ , thought Remus,  _ the day either of them apologizes is the day hell freezes over.  _

James spoke first, “Severus. I am sorry for any harm,” his voice faltered on the last word, wincing, “we’ve caused you. Please accept my sincerest apology.” 

“Acceptable. Black?”

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said through gritted teeth.

“For?”

James nudged Sirius to keep going, and there was a terrible moment of complete silence. 

“I apologize for acting on any ill-will towards you,” Sirius said finally. 

Despite the precarious situation, Remus had only appreciation for his friends. Snape clapped his hands together slowly, “Bravo, Black. You had it in you after all.” Remus felt Sirius tense beside him. 

“But, alas, I don’t think that’ll do. You four have made my life hell. Seems only fair to return the favor.” 

Any momentary relief Remus had felt withered away. 

“The fuck? You said you agreed?” James shouted. 

“He’s a Slytherin, James, we should’ve known he couldn’t be trusted. Slimy bastard,” Sirius growled. 

Remus could sense the deep hatred radiating off of Sirius in waves. Faster than Remus’ eye could track, Sirius had drawn his wand and pointed it at Snape, with James quickly following suit. Remus and Peter drew their wands, too. Snape was trapped by the four of them. 

The Potion’s classroom door opened suddenly to reveal Lily Evans, angrily clutching her wand in one hand and a thin book in the other, “What are you lot shouting about?” she demanded. 

Snape turned to Lily, grateful.

“Lily!” he cried, “They’re trying to hex me! They cornered me after class!”

Remus’ heart sank. He wasn’t a fool. He knew how it looked: the four of them and one Severus Snape, outside an empty hallway. 

“We haven’t done anything! Snape’s the one trying to blackmail Remus!” squealed Peter. 

“You don’t understand, Lily. Lupin’s not what he says he is. He’s not what you think he is,” Snape said, pulling his own wand out and pointing it at Remus. 

Remus turned and handed his wand to Sirius, and put his hands up, “Severus, please.” Snape’s chest rose and fell, he watched Remus struggle, he was nearly begging Snape to stop. Snape looked at Remus and scoffed at his show of vulnerability. He was still protected by James and Sirius. The same people who had made Snape’s own life miserable… 

“He’s a werewolf, Lily,” Snape spat, “He’s filthy. You shouldn’t go near him. He’s barely human.” 

Remus struggled for breath. Sure, he’d heard people speak negatively about werewolves, but never directed at him, and never with so much  _ disgust _ . Lily looked between the group of boys and Snape. 

“And? So he’s inferior like me? Mudblood, right? That’s what I am. I heard you yesterday, Severus. After Charms. I wanted to believe you hadn’t said it, but now I know. Fuck you, Severus. Fuck you for trying to make me hate Remus, and fuck you for thinking something like that would make me,” Lily said coldly. She strode over to Remus and entwined his hand in hers.

Snape looked absolutely shocked, like someone had dropped a bucket of ice water on his head. Five against one now. 

“Fine,” he snorted, “Go with your kind.” 

James, who had been largely silent for the interaction, had enough, and shouted, “ _ STUPEFY! _ ” and knocked Snape square in the chest. He looked positively triumphant. 

“Sorry… He just shouldn’t talk to you like that.” 

Lily looked about ready to kiss him on the spot. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooo cliffhanger??? what will happen next week! merci for reading x


	7. Chapter Seven

“So, what do we do with him now?” asked Peter. 

The five stared down at the knocked out Snape. 

“After this little number-- By the way, well done Prongs-- he’s probably going to scamper off to Slytherin and tell everyone about Remus,” Sirius said. He risked a sidelong glance at Remus, who looked as if he was two seconds away from being sick. 

“Do you think between the four of you, you could carry him to Dumbledore’s?” Lily asked suddenly. 

“And get in trouble for hexing another student? Fat chance,” retorted Peter.

“No, idiot! Dumbledore knows you’re a werewolf, right?” she asked Remus. He nodded.

She continued, “We explain the situation and Dumbledore gets Snape to swear he won’t tell. I bet you anything that’s what he’d do. Really, I don’t know why you didn’t just go to him in the first place,” Lily said. 

“Look here, Evans. You’re a Prefect. you play by the rules and all that. Doing things by the book isn’t really  _ our _ style,” Sirius said. Remus rolled his eyes.  _ Maybe it isn’t yours and James’ style _ , he thought. 

“Unless you plan on learning how to Obliviate someone in a matter of minutes, it’s the best option we’ve got.” Remus didn’t miss how James perked up slightly when Lily said “we”. Sirius looked at the motionless Snape on the floor, then at Remus, and finally at Lily. 

“Fine, we’ll do your plan,” Sirius said. He stretched out his right hand to her, “Welcome to the team, Evans,” he said wryly. Lily shook his hand and flashed a quick smile. 

“James, do you have the Cloak? And who has the Map?” Remus asked. Sirius fished the map out of a pocket in his robes and handed it to Remus, who immediately began looking for the quickest route to Dumbledore’s. He found a corridor that wasn’t busy and ushered the group in that direction. 

James was strong enough to carry Snape alone, so Sirius draped the Cloak of Invisibility over them. Sirius, Lily, Remus, and Peter walked in casually in front of James, leading the way to Dumbledore’s office. 

“Do you think anyone is wondering where Snape isn’t at dinner? Or is missing him?” whispered Peter. 

“Yeah, no,” Sirius replied quickly. Lily stifled a giggle. 

“Besides,” Remus added, “We don’t know where he is. We are just four Gryffindors on a nighttime stroll.” 

They had arrived at the front of Dumbledore’s office, but didn’t realize that they needed a password for the gargoyle to get in. The four of them all had ideas about how to get in (shout loudly in the hopes he might hear, Unforgivable Curses, send an owl, or hit the gargoyle repeatedly). They could tell from the Map he was inside the office. Luckily, they didn’t have to wait much longer, as they heard clambering from above their heads. The wall opened in front of them and Dumbledore walked out. 

“Miss Evans, Mr. Pettigrew, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Professor Dumbledore, we need to speak with you, it’s urgent,” Lily said. 

“Well if it’s urgent, I do insist you come in,” he said with a wink, “You too Mr. Potter, come along. Please be careful carrying Mr. Snape.” The other four turned around and saw James carrying Snape, without the disguise of the Invisibility Cloak. 

So, they all headed up the stairs into Dumbledore’s golden office. Priceless wizarding objects decorated nearly every surface, all of them gleaming, having been carefully cleaned. An enormous bookcase had a hodgepodge of books: some had spines with pale creases running down then, their fabric covers threadbare, others were illuminated manuscripts, inlaid with fine metals and jewels. Remus couldn’t decide what was the most striking feature, the sheer number of portraits in the office, all murmuring and mumbling, or the phoenix in the corner. 

Dumbledore saw him looking and kindly said, “Ah. That’s Fawkes. My good chum!” 

The students shifted anxiously, looking around. 

“Right then! You all had something urgent to tell me? Let’s start with the stupefied student, perhaps.” 

“Um, I used the spell on him, Professor,” James said nervously. 

“Only because he was defending me and Lily!” Remus interjected. He started explaining everything to Dumbledore from the beginning, about how Snape somehow had discovered his secret, and threatened to tell everybody about it. Remus explained how Sirius and James even apologized to him, and Snape laughed in their faces. He detailed the cruel things Snape had said to him and Lily, and had only stopped when James hexed him. 

As he spoke, Remus grew more confident. Dumbledore listened patiently and impassively. When he finished speaking, he noticed Sirius’ gray eyes boring into him. He wondered if Sirius had been staring at him like this the whole time he was speaking. Remus became more flustered under Sirius’ heavy gaze than Dumbledore’s. 

“I see. It sounds like you all have had a busy day. Why don’t you head off to bed. I’ll sort out Mr. Snape here. I’ll tell the houselves to bring some food up to your rooms,” Dumbledore said finally. 

The five Gryffindors murmured their thanks and returned to their dorms. Remus could breathe again.  _ It’s over _ , he thought.  _ No one will know _ . 

About half an hour later, Remus heard an owl tapping at his window. The rest of his friends had already fallen asleep, and he leapt up to abate the noisy clicking. He opened the window and took a letter from the owl’s sharp beak. The envelope was thick, heavy paper sealed by maroon wax emblazoned with the Hogwarts crest. Remus tore open the letter, his heart pounding. 

_ Mr. Remus Lupin,  _

_ I am sorry that you have been under such duress this past week. The situation with Mr. Snape has been resolved. Rest well tonight knowing he will not say anything about your status. Please take care to inform your friends of the same.  _

_ Yours, _

_ Professor Dumbledore _

Clutching the letter to his chest, Remus felt his body melt into the bed. He hadn’t been able to properly breathe for days. He fell asleep quickly and happily. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh dear I had a very difficult time writing Dumbledore... so my sincerest apologies for that.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyy for gratuitous fluff

The following evening the Gryffindor common room was properly alive. They’d beaten Slytherin in their match that day, securing the Quidditch Cup. Gryffindor banners covered every square inch of the common room. The griffins stitched onto them were enchanted to roar triumphantly. Someone secured flagons of butterbeer and firewhiskey and there were many goblets and cups littering the tables. Even the portraits in the common room were singing songs of victory. Little pixies fluttered around, casting a golden glow on the revellers. Peter and Sirius arrived to raucous applause when they procured platters of food from the kitchens. 

James was especially joyous, having caught the Snitch and won the game. Lily also told him he “didn’t make a total fool of himself” and he couldn’t stop smiling wildly after that. At the moment, he was shouting at a radio, trying to change the song.

“James, you were incredible, mate,” Remus called. 

James looked frantically around him, trying to detect the origin of the voice that said his name. He sort of stumbled, only staying upright by catching the end of a table. James’ eyes landed on Remus and everything clicked. 

“Oh! Thank you… thanks a mil…. A MILLION GALLEONS FOR JAMES POTTERRR!” He roared. James noticed some of his teammates in a corner, and staggered in their direction.

“How much do you think he’s had to drink?” asked the voice across from Remus, giggling. 

Lily Evans watched James’ inebriated state with something close to adoration. As the two Gryffindor Prefects, it would’ve been irresponsible to imbibe, so they merely played parents: sending the younger students to bed, making sure their classmates had water, or at least ate something. The two were playing a game of Exploding Snap, neither really inclined to celebrate as wildly as their peers. 

Remus gave her a look, “For real? This is what you find attractive?”

Lily blushed. “It’s endearing.” 

It didn’t escape Remus’ notice that she was wearing lipgloss, and had James’ jersey number painted on her cheek in red. Remus shook his head and rolled his eyes, but grinned. 

Remus watched Sirius out of the corner of his eye. Though Sirius had arrived much later than James, he was attempting to replicate James’ drunken state in record time. This Sirius was  _ electric _ . He was twice as charming, slipping in and out of conversations throughout the room. He danced to the shitty pop songs James had tried to change earlier. The uniform tie disappeared at some point and more buttons on his shirt were open than usual. He looked so carefree, flinging his arms and shaking his long hair in time to the music with reckless abandon. 

Remus could hardly bear it.  _ How can somebody look like that?  _ He thought.  _ How was that fair?  _ If only he could keep Sirius like this forever: away from his family, away from Grimmauld Place. Remus swallowed thickly and turned away. 

“Lily? Did you slip me some firewhiskey, or some simplified amortentia?” he asked suddenly. 

“No?” Lily looked back at him, wide-eyed. 

“I could give you some Felix Felicis. Get lucky?” Sirius murmured from behind his right shoulder. 

Remus jumped and turned in his chair. Sirius had sidled up behind him and was glistening. Not glistening, Remus corrected himself, he’s just  _ sweaty _ . But he also wouldn’t be surprised if it was some sort of ancient and noble wizarding trait for his family to glow. 

“Sirius. I think you need water,” Remus said. 

“Oh no no no. What  _ I  _ need is  _ you _ to-- JAMES!” Sirius’ train of thought was interrupted by James coming over with four shot glasses. James placed two with firewhiskey in front of Lily and Remus, humming happily. He handed an empty glass to Sirius and kept an empty one for himself. He nudged Sirius to turn around, with their backs to Lily and Remus. James proceeded to stage whisper, “ _ Aguamenti! _ ” 

“You know we can hear you right?” asked Remus. 

James grinned cheekily and held his glass out, “Cheers mates.” 

Remus turned to Lily, who shrugged, as if to say, why not? 

“Oh fine,” Remus huffed. He knocked back the shot quickly, unused to the burning sensation of firewhiskey. Lily sipped delicately at hers, citing the aftertaste as her excuse for not finishing. James and Sirius cheered at successfully having peer pressured their friends into drinking. Lily and Remus shared a look, laughing at the idiots. 

Half an hour and another shot later, Remus was having some trouble expressing himself clearly. His words slurred together and his chest was warm from the firewhiskey. He’d made his way onto the couch, staring into the fire. The party had died down for the most part, with most kids having gone to bed. Lily had kindly taken over Remus’ prefect duties. 

Sirius sat down next to him. 

“I should’ve known you’d be a sad drunk, Moony. And a lightweight.” 

Remus turned and looked at him, “Think you know everything about me, yeah?”

The corner of Sirius’ mouth quirked up, “Yeah.”

“Hmm,” Remus murmured contentedly. 

Sirius reached a hand out and gently cupped Remus’ cheek. 

“Moony,” he said softly, “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

_ Yes, a million times yes _ , Remus thought. A different, more responsible part of him made him freeze. Sirius felt him jolt and pulled back his hand like he had been burned, but Remus seized it with his own.

“Wait, Sirius. I do, but you’re drunk. So am I. I need to know you won’t forget me tomorrow morning,” he paused, “because I couldn’t bear if you didn’t actually mean it.” 

Sirius nodded thoughtfully. He was disappointed, Remus could tell, but he respected Remus’ wishes. Sirius sat back on his side of the couch and watched the fire, his eyelids slowly lowering. Remus closed his eyes too, and waited until he could hear Sirius’ breath even out. Once he was sure Sirius was asleep, Remus stood up and surveyed the common room. Everybody was gone or had passed out. The banners and paintings were silent, and the pixies had flown away. 

He looked down at the couch. In the few moments he’d gotten up, Sirius had stretched out his legs to take up the whole couch. He never looked as peaceful awake as he did when he slept. Remus was careful not to crush Sirius’ legs as he sat back down. Remus curled up against the arm of the sofa. 

_Sirius Black wants to kiss_ _me_ , he thought. _Me,_ _Remus Lupin_. With a smile on his lips, Remus fell asleep. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it ooc for remus to refuse the kiss? he just seems responsible and I want him to be happy


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'tis the end!

Remus Lupin woke up just as the early morning rays of sun were shining into the common room. He groaned audibly: there was a throbbing pain in his temple and his limbs were tense and sore from the pretzel he worked himself into while he slept. Remus unfolded himself carefully from his side of the couch. He looked down at the sofa, expecting to see Sirius, but he wasn’t there.  _ He must’ve moved sometime in the night,  _ Remus thought.  _ Why would Sirius even be on this couch? _

Remus blinked the sleep out of his eyes, and then he remembered what happened last night. He sighed deeply.  _ Sirius not being here is definitely not a good sign…  _ Remus thought anxiously. He ran upstairs to change into something clean. James and Peter were in their dorm, but he didn’t see Sirius. 

He hurried to the Great Hall for an early breakfast. He skidded in through the big doors and the whole hall was blissfully empty… except for one person sitting at the far end of the Gryffindor table, by where the professors sat. Though his brain told him to run out the door, Remus’ feet carried him towards the interloper. 

Sirius looked up from the book he was reading and grinned at Remus. Remus was close enough to see that the title flashing in gold was clearly  _ not  _ English. 

“You speak French?”

“ _ Oui _ ,” Sirius said smugly. 

“You’re here early,” Remus said, unable to find any place safe enough to rest his eyes. Certainly not on Sirius’ lips, or eyes, or shoulders, or hands holding the French novel. All the while, Sirius rested his even, gray gaze on Remus. Remus became very aware of the fact that he hadn’t touched his hair that morning… and that his sweater was on backwards. He sucked in a loud breath and pressed his lips together. 

“I know. You’re usually here at this inane hour,” Sirius said it as if it settled the whole matter.

“Sirius, about what you said last night--” Remus didn’t get to finish before Sirius cut him off. 

“I still mean it, if you wanted to know,” Sirius replied, gaze still steady. 

“Yeah?” Remus asked softly. 

“Yeah.” 

Sirius stood up quickly. One hand resumed the place it had taken last night, cupped against Remus’ jaw. The other rested lightly on Remus’ neck, guiding him. Sirius took a breath, looking at Remus to search for any apprehension. Remus wasted no time crashing his lips onto Sirius’, bringing his own chest flush against Sirius’. Sirius deepened the kiss, taking control. Remus let out a small gasp and Sirius pulled back to laugh. 

“Uh, Moony, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but maybe let’s go somewhere that’s not about to be filled by hundreds of students,” Sirius said. 

“Yeah, good idea,” Remus said breathlessly. 

“Wait,” Sirius stopped. 

“Yeah, Sirius?” 

“You aren’t going to go out with that girl on Saturday, right?”

Then it was Remus’ turn to laugh.

“We’ve barely kissed and you’re already so jealous,” Remus teased. 

“Hey! I’d just had to be sure,” Sirius said, toying lightly with the hem of Remus’ sweater. 

“Yeah, stupid. I like  _ you _ .” Remus rolled his eyes, but he wasn’t upset at all. 

“Good,” Sirius said, pleased. He tugged at Remus’ sweater and practically ran up to their shared dorm, with Remus close behind. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and fin! Thank you so much for reading and following the story and bookmarking and leaving kudos!!! <3 This is my first fic so it really means a lot. 
> 
> ps: Sirius definitely knows French and that is a FACT don't @ me
> 
> pps: I cannot write anything saucy so the half kiss was my best attempt... and why I saved it till the last chapter oops


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